Meanie Head
by SunniGummi
Summary: Let it snow! Winter has descended upon Forks, and Edward and Bella enjoy the cold season together. One-shot. Rated M just to be on the safe side. Warnings: If you are a fan of either of them, you should probably be reading something else. Yup.


**Hello :)**

**I have a new One-shot for you... but to everyone who likes Edward and/or that human he likes to stalk: This might not be the right story for you. If you read it anyways, keep in mind that you have been warned.**

**Aaand you should keep in mind that I am completely innocent in all this. Promise. You'll see.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, but I think you know that.**

* * *

It had become cold in Forks during the winter months and the snow was falling heavily, covering rooftops, trees and the frozen ground with thick layers of white.

While there had been cold winters before, this one was especially freezing and it left the town almost deserted most of the time as the humans preferred to snuggle up in their cosy homes and watch the winter through frosty windows instead of feeling it seep through their clothes and chill them to their bones.

One family, however, truly enjoyed the change of weather and appreciated cold winter seasons with heaps of snow and temperatures below the freezing point more than hot summers with blue skies and brilliant sunshine.

The Cullens loved everything about the weather and spend most of their time outside. Romantic moonlight walks with the sounds of the cold snow crunching beneath the soles of their feet, driving snow mobiles, going sledding and having long, almost brutal, snow ball fights.

To them it was the best season and they tried to enjoy it to its fullest, just like every year... even though this time it was different. It wasn't just colder than usual, but they also had Edward's new girlfriend - or rather his first girlfriend ever - with them.

Carlisle and Esme were delighted that their sullen boy had finally found someone who made him a little less moody, because now they didn't have to endure his tantrums all the time anymore. They were truly happy that he was content.

One afternoon, it had been snowing all morning, the Cullen kids decided to go on a run through the forest before they would eventually look for a good place to have another snow ball fight with the freshly fallen snow. While they tried to be very supportive of Edward and his chosen mate, they internally groaned in unison when she showed up on their door step the moment they wanted to leave the house and have fun.

But since Edward had apparently invited her over, they couldn't say No and so she came along, sitting on his back like a brainless monkey, choking on snow flakes and gasping for air as they sprinted through the forest.

As though her breathing sounds and snuffling wasn't bad enough, they couldn't play like they had intended to do, because she was so damageable.

When one of them pressed the snow together to make a firm ball, it turned into a solid piece of ice. And apparently getting hit by an ice bullet hurt people.

So except for Edward and Bella, they headed home after half an hour of playing with the strength of five-year-old kids.

The newly enamoured couple wasn't too offended by their departure as they had actually planned on having some alone time, just the two of them. Had they just gone to the forest for a walk or stayed home, the risk of being seen or overheard would be too big, so they considered themselves lucky that his siblings had decided to get away from them now and spend some time without them.

That gave them some much needed privacy.

With an incredibly attractive lopsided grin, Edward pulled his girlfriend out of the snow and put an arm around her shoulders, careful not to touch the back of her head where Emmett had given her a big bump from the chunk of ice he had thrown at her.

Luckily her bobble cap had saved her from severe injuries.

They walked for a while until they reached their special clearing. It was their meadow, their beautiful oasis of peace and happiness, and they were sure that no one would ever find it and violate their privacy here.

The snow was completely untouched, not even the footprints of forest animals could be found here, like they knew this place was sacred to them.

Stepping out from in between the trees, they just stood there for a moment, admiring the beauty of this place even when it was covered up like that. Here it didn't look like common snow, but like the finest powdered sugar which made this special moment even sweeter for them.

Bella sighed.

She must have decided that this was the right place, because she ducked out from under Edward's arm, then turned around to face him. Looking deep into his golden eyes, she slowly lowered herself onto her knees.

Once she was kneeling in the delicate snow, she tried to pull the thick mittens off her fingers with the help of her buck teeth, but failed miserably. She stopped trying after a moment and exhaled heavily, leaving a big cloud of white in the air.

With shaky fingers, more from her nervousness than from the cold, she just reached up and tried to open his pants with her mitten-covered hands. She struggled with the button, not just because her fingers were frozen stiff and covered with woollen mittens, but because she was a clumsy idiot and obviously forgot how buttons worked.

"Let me help you, love," Edward breathed and opened it with ease, making her gape at him as though he had just performed magic.

Neither he nor she knew how she managed to get the zipper open after that, but once it indeed was open, Edward's trousers fell to the ground and his tight briefs came into view. A frown appeared on her face as she stared at the yellow spot on the otherwise white fabric.

Lifting her head up to look him in the face, Edward nervously averted his eyes. But as he could still feel her questioning gaze on him, he cleared his throat and said, "Um... Emmett did that on April Fools' Day... he thought it would be funny to stain my underpants with permanent markers. Um... they are clean and I didn't want to buy new ones when these ones are still fine."

She just slowly nodded her head in understanding.

"And the ones on the back are also from permanent markers... he chose the colour brown as you may have guessed, but again – my underpants are clean. Esme washes them for me."

She swallowed heavily, but nodded her head again.

While he felt something stirring, a heavy sense of nervousness made itself known and Edward looked around to make sure they were alone, while Bella was still on her knees, her eyes fixed on his... beautiful briefs.

Standing here with his girlfriend kneeling in front of him and feeling this strange sensation in his groin area was making him slightly uncomfortable and he was starting to have second thoughts about her request. "I don't want you to be cold, Bella... maybe... maybe we shouldn't do this."

She quickly shook her head.

That really was an awkward situation for him... he loved her so much, and she had told him she really, really wanted to do this, but away from his family so they wouldn't hear. And he had agreed because he couldn't refuse her anything and was admittedly horny as hell. Spending a century living like a nun was... making him feel kinda blue. And his balls as well. And no guy would ever say no to that – especially when she was begging him. On her knees.

There wasn't the danger of hurting her as they wouldn't go all the way, and so he wouldn't run the risk of causing her any wounds that might bleed.

"The temperature is below the freezing point and we have already been out here for way too long...," he added to convince her to postpone this while he tried to ignore his bulge that was starting to grow painful.

It ached for her.

She bit her lip like she always did when she was trying to overplay that her mind was once again blank, and shook her head no again.

He couldn't read her mind, maybe because there was nothing to read, and so he didn't know if she had an ulterior motive. Maybe she wanted to trick him into changing her that way... but was she really able to concoct such a plan?

"Okay, but I'll pull out before... you know. Perhaps it sparkles."

With a big idiot smile on her face she nodded her head now.

Edward scanned the surroundings to make sure none of his siblings, or worse _his parents_ would be nearby. His first intimate experience with Bella didn't need an audience.

His gaze directed back to her. Her plump lips and the vacant look in her eyes drove him insane. The bulge grew even bigger, the fabric stretched.

Little Edward sprang free at that moment, and even though it looked like this was the only part of his body that hadn't gone through the change all those years ago, Bella in her dim state was nevertheless very impressed. Drool dribbled onto her scarf and the front of her jacket, and she ran the back of her hand over her mouth, smearing it everywhere.

"You are so beautiful, Bella," Edward said, making her grin broadly.

"So... well, maybe...," he stammered, not knowing what to do or what to expect now. He had never done this before.

Would it feel... good? Or awkward? What would it be like for Bella? She looked like she really wanted to try it, she was hungry for it, but he couldn't read her mind to see if she only wanted to do this because she thought he expected it from her or if she did this for herself or...

He listened for the sound of the cars on the main road leading to Forks, despite the fact that this place was so secluded and hidden that it was almost impossible to hear them or even see the gleam of the headlights. And since it was too cold for hiking and it was already getting dark, the risk of being seen by some strangers was basically non existent. Besides, humans were practically blind when it was dark and even though the snow made the night appear twilit, they were standing in their special meadow bounded by high trees, and he couldn't smell any humans or vamps nearby.

Seconds went by and he couldn't ignore the feeling of lust any longer.

"You can touch it if you want...," he offered when he saw her still just eyeing him. In the dim light it looked to be even whiter than the snow, from the base to tip, and it seemed to fascinate her.

She quickly engulfed him with one of her hands, and the scratchy wool felt rough on his sensitive skin. He shuddered.

Bella noticed and let out a small gasp. Her hand twitched as she contemplated letting go of him again as his reaction unsettled her, but Edward wanted to keep her from doing that. The sensation of her hand wrapping around him was exciting and it made him determined to reassure her somehow so she wouldn't end this early. She had repeatedly refused to go home with him and do this another time, after all.

And he realised that he needed her now. He really, _really_ needed her. "Only you can make wool look and feel sexy, my love," he told her in a husky voice.

She smiled and there was snot leaking from her nose, making her snuffle.

The battle between his lustfulness and his concern for her health bloomed up again. He could _maybe_ wait a little longer. "I really think we should go somewhere where it's warm... maybe your dad isn't home, or I'll send my family out of the house. Please, Bella, you're freezing."

But all she did was shake her head again while her teeth started to chatter loudly. Hopefully she would get that under control, or she might lose a few teeth as soon as she was getting started to-

Edward got distracted again by the sounds she made. The chattering, together with her snotty, raspy breathing... it was like music to his ears. Whatever sound his love made, it always sounded like the most beautiful melody.

She shook her head, and her hand followed the movement, making his eyes widen at seeing and feeling what she was doing.

Immediately she bit down on her lip in a way of apology. She thought she had hurt him, obviously, even though it had only sent tingles through his body and made him hold his breath so he wouldn't suddenly have a little accident and this special moment would be over before it had even begun.

"It's all right, Bella. You know you cannot hurt me, because I cannot get hurt. I'm immortal, my skin is harder than diamond, my body chiselled like a Greek statue."

She breathed a sigh of relief, then stared at the part of him that her fingers encircled and that was only a few inches from her face.

Edward so wanted to do this now, he really felt like he and his groin couldn't wait any longer... but he had to keep in mind that Bella should set the pace. When she's ready to do this they'd begin, and not a second sooner.

He just wanted to suggest again that maybe at night in her room when her dad was sleeping would be a better time and place for this, but then he remembered that they had already talked about it and decided against that option - it was a lot riskier that they would suddenly both want more and forget all precautions.

As his lips parted to tell her of the doubts he was having, she let out a snort and clumsily pulled him closer to herself.

Her warm tongue poked out of her mouth and touched the tip of his head, making him gasp in surprise.

He shut his eyes and let his head fall back. "Ohh..."

For the first time in over a century, he felt alive. Ever since he was changed, that appendage to his body didn't have any function at all anymore, but with Bella, it seemed to spring back to life as though kissed awake after a seemingly endless twilight sleep.

Just this tiny spot where her tongue pressed against him was already making him feel so good, and as the lust overcame him like a tidal wave, his eyes darkened behind his closed eyelids and he immediately wanted _more_.

"That feels amazing, babe, oh yeah. Now move a little. Use your lips," he moaned while his hands wandered up the front of his jacket to circle his nipples.

But she didn't comply.

"_Ungh._"

"Come on, Bella."

"_Ngh._"

"Come _on_, Bella, try it," he prompted and grabbed her head on either side to try to gently but firmly press it down on himself.

_"Ngh... ngh!"_

Her mitten-covered hands slapped against the sides of his thighs, and while he didn't feel it at all, the sound of the slaps registered within his brain and he snapped his eyes open.

"Bella?" he whispered and bowed his head to be able to look at her.

___Oh no..._

Sudden panic started to course through him and he asked, "Are you all right?"

"Ungh-ungh."

She resembled a leech that hung onto him to drain him dry, but he knew that that definitely wasn't the case - she rather wanted to detach herself from him, and probably as quickly as possible.

"I told you it's too cold, we should have never done this!" he whined and immediately felt venom tears stinging the corners of his eyes. Life was so unfair... he wanted to curl up under his covers and never come out again... but his pants were still around his ankles and his girlfriend that hung onto him would make curling up quite difficult. However, getting home posed to be an even bigger problem.

Who could help in a situation like this? The police? But Charlie would kill him if he saw what they were doing.

Carlisle? He's a doctor, he'd know what to do, but... no. No, no. No.

His siblings? Never in his life would he consider calling them and let them see this.

So, who else could possibly help them?

... Esme.

He awkwardly bent down and fished his phone from his jeans that were still on the ground, then dialled her number. But before he hit the Call button, he hesitated.

He couldn't let his ___mother _see him like that, what was he thinking?!

"Bella," he said, "we need to do something. Head back to the house. If we're lucky, no one will see us."

Her eyes went impossibly wide.

"Or... your house?" he suggested, but actually feared what Charlie would do if they'd run into him. They couldn't enter the house through her bedroom window, obviously.

She shook her head violently, then scrunched up her face - well, as much as that was possible. The jerky movements hurt her tongue, but made Edward moan loudly.

Once he had managed to breathe the wave of pleasure away, he rubbed a hand over his face while wrecking his brain for a way out of this predicament. Thinking straight was exceptionally difficult for him at the moment. "Can you even move? Hop or crawl, can you do that?"

She turned to the side as much as she could, then tried to shove her knees through the snow, but Edward realised fairly quickly that it would take ages for them to get somewhere.

"How flexible are you? I could throw you over my shoulder and run, we'd be home in a matter of minutes!" Well, if he could even run with a rock hard pecker and a head between his legs.

And his idea didn't seem to excite her all that much, because a deep frown appeared on her face.

"Dammit, I'm so stupid!" he suddenly cursed and banged his fist against the nearest tree, making it splinter and crack.

The shock over the loud noise brought out Bella's flight instinct a few moments later when her mushy brain finally remembered that she even possessed such an instinct, and as she hurried to get up, her tongue ripped off his tip a little before the pain made her wince and stop.

The part of her sensitive tongue that wasn't attached to him anymore was starting to bleed, and as she gazed up at her boyfriend, she noticed that his eyes had turned pitch-black.

He didn't attack right away, maybe because he was trying to fight it, but as his lips curled back from his teeth, she whimpered and bit down on her tongue to steady it while she tried to rip it off completely.

It wouldn't hurt him and she could quickly close her mouth and hope he wouldn't be able to smell the blood anymore.

When she felt his sharp teeth dig into her scalp, however, even she realised that it was too late.

And when Edward finally snapped out of his bloodlust and looked at the red snow and Bella lying in pieces all over the place, he also realised that it was too late.

As he ripped off her pale tongue that was still sticking to him and slowly pulled his jeans up, he started bawling like a baby. With his right foot he shoved snow over his ex-girlfriend, then made his way home, all the while licking his lips and rubbing his red, puffy eyes with his fists.

* * *

Emmett guffawed, then held up his hand for a high five. Jasper smacked his palm against his brother's and grinned broadly.

"Oh, Jazz... don't let Momma hear you tell stories like that!"

"It was my turn to tell a story!" Alice complained, then crossed her arms over her chest and pouted.

"Sorry, darlin'...," Jasper apologised and pulled her against his chest. "Don't be mad."

She giggled. "I'm not. Still, it was _my_ turn."

Rosalie bit down on her lip in an attempt to keep a straight face, but the thought of stupid Edward draining clumsy Bella with his pants still around his ankles eventually drew musical laughter from her. She quickly tried to stifle the laughs by covering her mouth with both her hands and pressing her head into the backrest of the couch they were sitting on. She knew her reaction would make dear little Edward even more furious and that made it even harder to stop.

"Ssh," Alice warned and held a finger to her lips while her eyes darted over to the stairs again and again.

Carlisle and Esme came into view that moment, and the sudden silence and seeing three pairs of wide eyes looking at them made both of them frown.

"Everything's all right?" Carlisle queried.

"Yeah, couldn't be better," Em replied and pulled his wife up, before he hugged her to himself. She still had her hands over her face, and her shoulders shook.

"Is Rosalie crying?"

"Nah, she's just... having hiccups."

Carlisle blinked at him, but quickly shook the confusion from his head and decided to ignore their odd behaviour. "We just wanted to ask you if-"

A loud rumbling from upstairs made Carlisle quiet down, and not even a second later Edward came running down the stairs. "I hate you, I hate _all of you_!"

Esme gasped. "Edward!"

"Now, now," Carlisle said lazily – he was used to Edward's daily tantrums by now.

"I'm going to Bella's now, don't expect me home anytime soon," he almost growled while his eyes shone with anger.

"She's fine, Eddie! But better stay in the house, it's cold outside," Emmett told him and wagged his finger.

Edward just flipped him the bird over his shoulder before he disappeared into the garage, slamming the door on his way out.

"Did anyone say something that upset him?" Carlisle asked his children, but they only shrugged their shoulders and shook their heads.

* * *

**Jasper, the Southern gentleman, pfft... it really was Alice's turn to tell a story :D**

**Oh well.**

**Thanks for reading guys!**


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